Hardest Thing
by Isashi Sanada
Summary: He always had the solutions for everything. Always had an explanation...but right now, he couldn’t even find the words. All he could do was look down and avoid her eyes.


Disclaimer: I most definitely do not own Detective Conan.

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Today is one of those days when one should not be outside. The rain was pouring down so hard and so fast, one can barely see their surroundings. Yet, two figures could be seen standing in front of a mansion. The two, one boy and one girl, just stood there with an open umbrella lying forgotten on the street right beside the girl. The girl stood in front of the boy with wide eyes and the young man stared back with emotionless eyes.

"W-what did you say? Surely you don't mean that, Shinichi..."

The girl asked. Disbelief and pain are evident in her voice.

"No, Ran. You've known me since I was a child. You should know that I don't kid about stuff like this."

The young man, Shinichi, replied with a calm, quite cold, voice.

"W-when are you coming back?"

Ran questioned.

Shinichi took a deep breath, sighed and paused for a while.

"I'm never coming back. I'm going to live there with my parents. Today is my last day here."

He finally replied.

"But...you just came back...and now...you're leaving for good..."

Ran said as her last rays of hope faded. Her voice was full of sorrow.

"I'm sorry but I have to do this. I want a fresh start, a clean slate. I want to get away from bad memories. America is the place where I can do it."

Shinichi said with a, still, calm voice.

"Bad memories? Are you telling me you have no good things to recall?"

Ran said desperately trying to convince the young man to stay. Seeing that Shinichi was not going to answer, she continued.

"What about me? What about all that we've been through? You asked me once to wait for you so I did. Now, you're telling me that you're leaving? All those times...I...you..."

She trailed off as she couldn't find the strength to continue on.

Shinichi just stared at the girl in front of him. This is one of the rare moments in his life that he is utterly speechless. He always had the solutions for everything. Always had an explanation...but right now, he couldn't even find the words. All he could do was look down and avoid her eyes.

Ran took a deep breath and broke the silence.

"I...I love you, Shinichi..."

Upon hearing those words, Shinichi's eyes snapped on her.

'I thought that when she tells me those words, it would be one of the best moments of my life.'

He thought miserably. No emotion could be seen on his face, though. He didn't react even when tears, though they were barely visible due to the rain, rolled down Ran's face.

Shinichi banished the thought and let out a mirthless, sort of mocking, laugh.

"Did you think that saying those words would make me stay?"

Shinichi asked coldly.

"No...I...I just had to let that out...I wanted you to know..."

Ran answered but was cut-off.

"Don't you get it yet? I don't love you. I can't stand being around you. That's why I'm leaving!"

Shinichi shouted. The emotionless mask still on his face but inside, he was dying. Slowly and painfully, he was dying.

Ran stared in shock and turned to leave.

All Shinichi wanted to do was run after her, hug her and tell her it was a joke and that he loves her, too. But all he did is stand there and watch Ran's retreating figure. When she was out of sight, he went inside his house.

Inside, he headed to the couch. He sat there with his hands covering his face. It was obvious that he finally broke down.

"So, I'm guessing it did not go well."

A voice said sympathetically.

"I thought you left this morning. What are you still doing here, Hattori?"

Looking up, Shinichi asked the invading party.

"Before I left, Haibara pulled me aside and told me. She said she couldn't find a permanent cure and that you were going to tell Ran that you were leaving for good."

Heiji explained.

"It was horrible. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She told me that she loves me and I ended up telling her that I can't stand her."

Shinichi narrated, burying his face in his hands again.

"I see. So, why did you tell her that instead of how you really feel?"

Heiji questioned his friend.

"Think, Hattori. If you would, you'd know that it's easier telling her I hate her than telling her I love her then leaving her behind. This way she could have closure and move on..."

Shinichi explained.

Heiji nodded signifying that he understood.

Heiji consoled Shinichi. The two talked the whole night knowing that this could be the last time Shinichi could be Shinichi, that he could be himself in his true form.

After everything this young man, Shinichi, has been through, you'd think that things could not be worst than they already were...then this kind of situation occurs. One could only hope that they get better from here...

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Okay...I'm done.


End file.
